I registered on Simply Patina’s website (affiliated with Catal, Naples, Tortilla Jo’s).

They just sent me an email certificate that is valid from now up to 60 days AFTER my birthday (my bday is 2/22 we are going to be in DL 3/26-30).

The certificate gives you $30 off of your bill of $30 or more (excluding alcohol tips and gratuity). Oh you have to have a resrvation for after 5pm.

Great deal if you’re interested in those restaurants.

1) No Sleeping – With exception to the newly renovated (and ultra exclusive) “Walt’s apartment” in New Orleans Square, sleeping is expressly prohibited in all areas of the park. Fact: People are frequently found sleeping throughout the park.  No policy currently exists to actually prohibit sleeping, however any activity which presents a safety hazard will be addressed.

2) Evacuate! – Due to recent CAL-OSHA and DOSH regulations, any attraction that breaks down at Disneyland must have all guests manually evacuated, no matter how routine the breakdown may be. Fact: While the term “breakdown” is vauge, it is not uncommon for an attraction to be cycled to clear a problem. Typically a ride will stop for a period of time, and then restart again when safe to unload guests. It is frequently safer to cycle the ride then to manually unload guests in the middle of the attraction. Additionally there is no verifiable regulation cited, nor located.

3) Smoking? - Smoking is only permitted in a few secluded areas of the park. All photos found within Disneyland park depicting Walt Disney smoking have been doctored to have the cigarettes removed. Fact: The no smoking policy is relatively recent, and the few places it is permitted are hardly secluded. During Walt’s life, it was not uncommon nor unglamorous to smoke, and it was even depicted in Walt Disney animated movies. There would be little reason to doctor these photos.

4) Disneyland Underground – Contrary to the popular myth, there are very few underground pathways beneath Disneyland. Many cast members can’t even get to their destination points via backstage routes and have to cross on-stage (in public areas). Fact: The source of this is probably confusion with the Utli-doors of Walt Disney World, which were designed to address the problem mentioned in this claim. However, the use of the term “can’t” is the problem. Virtually every area is accessible via backstage areas, however some of them are very inconvenient. So cast members will cheat, and cross on-stage areas with the wrong area costume.

5) Ride Cameras – Some Disneyland attractions have only a few cameras throughout the ride, while other have several. However, in both cases, the cameras are to be watched by only one attractions cast member at a time that in the majority of cases is distracted or simply not paying attention. Fact: Most rides have a large number of cameras, and every major refurbishments seems to bring even more cameras. Most of them are very inconspicuously placed. For many attractions the cameras are monitored by a dedicated person.

6) Breakdowns - Despite the paranoia of many guests in fear of their own safety, attractions hardly ever break down to due any kind of mechanical failure. The vast majority of attraction breakdowns are caused by cast member incompetence or difficult guests that interfere with the efficient operation of the attraction. Fact: The speculation is closer to the reason for most deaths, however break downs are more often related to safety mechanisms, such as the PLC systems.

7) Stealing is Okay - Plain clothes security cast members routinely patrol stores and common areas of the park. However, they are instructed to NOT intervene with shoplifters who are witnessed stealing less than 5 keychains. You can’t make this stuff up. Fact: In park arrests are performed on a daily basis, from simple park ejections to an actual police arrest, regardless of how minor the offense or shoplifting is.

8) Courtesy – Parkwide, the term “courtesy” is used as code to alert other attractions cast members of a particularly good looking guest that might be present. For example, a cast member might announce “courtesy row six” over the PA, and that would signal other members of the crew to casually take a look at and admire the person in question. I’d like to take this moment to apologize for desecrating what many cast members may consider to be the biggest and most valuable Disneyland secret of all. Fact: There is no global, universal keyword, however wherever there are teenage cast members, there will always be terms to call attention to guests, good or bad looking, male or female.

9) Hold it Right There – As any teenager who has ever caused any trouble at Disneyland should know, security will attempt to scold you and intimidate you. However, legally, they can do no such thing. Disneyland cast members are not officers of the law, therefore detaining you against your will would be false imprisonment. Security will try to get you to voluntarily do as they say, but regular cast members will not attempt to detain you. BUT, in some cases they will use underhanded tactics to keep you stationary until security can arrive. For instance, if a vehicle filled with troublemakers returns to the station before security has a chance to arrive, they may be given the option to ride again, having no idea that the attractions cast members are simply buying time. Fact: This has been used for years my shoplifters or other troublemakers on private property, however Federal and State laws have specifically strengthened the ability for amusement park security to detain, question and investigate alleged misconduct of guests.

10) Ugly Cast Members - Back in the day, Walt Disney made it very clear that he wanted pleasant looking people interacting with guests at his world class theme park. The less visually appealing folks were given jobs in non-public areas, such as the kitchens or costuming, while the lookers were given jobs at the main gate, attractions, etc. However, today that has all but gone out the window, and you can spot some seriously disturbing looking folks in the most blatant locations. Fact: While this synthesis may appear correct on the surface, I doubt you would be able to find policy which shows that this is true. My own hypothesis is that there are far few attractive people today, then there were then.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my little poke back at the original author and his ideas.

Why ask this question, you may ask. The reason is that many people have bought into the great marketing that the Walt Disney Company kicks out every holiday. Then they save all year, work overtime, and then spend what amounts of a life’s savings on a weeklong trip; spend even more then they had saved so they can enjoy all of their hard work; and then have their child have a melt-down at 3pm on the first day! But since we’ve spend all this money, worked so hard, traveled so far, we drag out family militaristically through the park – because we’re at Disneyland, we have to have fun!

Or here is another scenario… half way through the day your child just rode Autopia for this very first time, and they loved it… they ask to go again. You just waited in a 45 minute line and this was your second ride so far. The reality is that if you tell them, “if we have time later” – it typically doesn’t happen. Why? Because Disneyland is so expansive, over their 100+ acres that even with 5 days in Disneyland, you still will not have time to experience everything. So typically, there is “no time later”… But, if you’re there as a family – then another time through the ride would be a great memory for them – and it can be great family time together in line.

Another tip we’ll share later centers directly over the vacation or relaxation part of a Disneyland vacation. Many people think it will be relaxing, but the only way for this to be true is if you intentionally make it this. There are many things which are vying for your attention that, if you let it, will consume all of your available time. If you want a Disney vacation to be relaxing, it can be, but just decide that up front and later we’ll share how this can become reality.

Finally, understand what can realistically be accomplished and you’ll have a great time. I recently took a trip with my son (17 months) and our 6 year old friend – yes, a boy’s trip to Disneyland. It was for exactly 24 hours (travel time included). We had an absolutely amazing, fantastic trip – spent only about 10 hours in the park any everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Tyler loved the fact that he got to drive the Autopia cars twice, experience snowfall, and fight Darth Vader on stage after being selected as a Jedi Padawan. Fantastic trip, very short, but met our expectations.

Book a Disneyland® Resort vacation package and get one FREE* child’s airfare on select flights for each paid adult traveling with your party when you travel to the Disneyland® Resort through June 17, 2009. Book your vacation by May 31, 2009.

More information at www.disneyland.com/ckff